The holidays can be a beautiful time, but for rare cancer patients, they can also bring an undercurrent of exhaustion, guilt, and pressure to “be okay” and keep positive for your family and friends. This season, remember you don’t owe anyone an apology for how you need to show up, or not show up, during this time.
Let’s make a pact – this holiday season we won’t apologize for:
…being tired.
Fatigue, whether from treatment, side effects, or the emotional toll of living with uncertainty, is real. You don’t have to push through every event or pretend you have more energy than you do. Resting isn’t lazy; it’s part of healing.
…saying no.
It’s okay to skip gatherings that drain you or to leave early when your body says, “enough.” Setting boundaries doesn’t make you ungrateful or antisocial—it means you’re protecting your limited energy for what truly matters.
…not feeling festive.
The holidays can amplify grief, fear, and longing for “normal.” If you’re struggling, it doesn’t mean you’re failing at the season. Let yourself feel what you need to feel. Joy and sadness can coexist; both are valid.
…talking about your physical or mental health.
You don’t have to hide your reality to make others comfortable. It’s okay to share what you’re going through, to ask for understanding, or to say, “It’s been a hard year.” Your story deserves space at the table too.
…finding new ways to celebrate.
Maybe you light a candle for someone you’ve lost. Maybe you swap big parties for quiet nights, or start new traditions centered on gratitude, not perfection. Your way of celebrating is just as meaningful.
…being hopeful.
In a world that often measures holidays by gifts and gatherings, hope can be the most radical thing of all. Hope for better days, for breakthroughs in research, for more time. You’re allowed to hold onto that without apology.
This holiday season, let compassion begin with yourself. You don’t have to meet anyone’s expectations, not family’s, not friends’, not society’s. Keep the people that love you and the things you love close, and push any negativity away. You only have to honor your body, your boundaries, and your heart.
And that’s more than enough.
